


One Year Of Love

by Spread_your_wings02



Category: Bohemian Rhapsody (Movie 2018), Queen (Band)
Genre: Angst, Arguments, Birth, Brian is an idiot, Character Death, Crying, Freddie and John are good uncles, Hurt/Comfort, Labour, M/M, Mpreg, Post-Break Up, Roger really needs a hug, Sort Of, This Is So Sad I'm Sorry, or sleep, the original characters are the kids
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-04-05
Updated: 2019-04-23
Packaged: 2020-01-05 10:37:19
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Major Character Death
Chapters: 3
Words: 5,262
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/18364316
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Spread_your_wings02/pseuds/Spread_your_wings02
Summary: Brian gulped lowering his head, knowing he was completely in the wrong.“You treated me like I wasn’t there,” Roger half-whispered, his voice cracking as tears started to build up. Brian’s shot up at this, and it was now very evident on Roger’s face that he was hurting.“I never meant to,” Brian said quietly.Roger scoffed. “You never mean to do anything Brian. How can I raise two kids, nearly three by myself? And it’s been like this for a while, even before we split. You were always so busy with doing stuff for the band or whatever that you never had time for us. You never had time for me!”----------Brian and Roger end up splitting up after ten years of marriage. Is it too late to fix it or will divorce be the only answer?





	1. Part 1

**Author's Note:**

> Hello my lovlies :)  
> I have started this knew story, but it will only be a few chapters long.  
> And yes I know two men couldn't get married in the 70's, but men can't actually get pregnant either so we are going to pretend that they could.  
> This is so angsty but I guess by now, if you've read my other fics, you'd kind of expect that anyway.  
> Anyways, I hope you like this x

Brian’s fingers tapped nervously on the arm of the chair he was sitting on. He was at Freddie and John’s house, having agreed to meet up with them. And with Roger. He missed him so much, but knowing he would be arriving at any minute made his anxiety rise.

There was a knock at the door and Brian stopped breathing. He looked at Freddie with wide eyes as John got up to open the door.

“It will be okay Brian,” Freddie said. Brian just nodded in response as he stood up. He could hear talking and then John was coming back into the room, followed by Roger.

Roger looked tired; his blonde hair even messier than usual, and he had dark circles under his eyes. Not to mention his belly which had grown significantly since the last time Brian saw him. He missed him so much. And not only him, his kids as well. The boy that was stood next to Roger immediately ran to Brian hugging him close. Brian bent down to pull him in closer, kissing the top of his head.

“I’ve missed you Daddy,” the boy mumbled.

“I’ve missed you too Tommy,” Brian said, trying to hold back the tears. He looked over Tommy’s shoulder to see Roger looking at them with an expression that almost looked sad, but it was quickly wiped away when he made eye contact with Brian. Brian pulled Tommy away with a smile.

“Go on say hello to Uncle Freddie and Uncle John.”  
Tommy nodded and bounded away to his uncles. Brian stood up from his crouched position and made hi way slowly to Roger and their little girl. The girl was hesitant as Brian approached, and he noticed so didn’t move any further.

Brian watched as Roger turned his head to the girl on his hip, whispering something. Brian could only make out some words; something about going to see him. The girl shook her head and buried her face into Roger’s neck. Roger then looked up at him and gave an apologetic smile, before venturing off for Freddie and John.  
Brian was upset that his own daughter didn’t want to see him. But then again, there was a reason why he wasn’t living with them at the moment.

He followed Roger, moving into the kitchen where Tommy was trying to help Freddie make a cup of tea, John’s watchful eye on them to make sure there were no accidents. Brian’s heart swelled at the sight. His little boy, now nearly five, had really grown up. He had grown into a cheeky but polite boy, and Brian was proud to call him his child.

He stood by Roger, watching the others move around the kitchen, until he saw the younger man next to him shift so that he was no longer next to Brian, moving the girl further up on his hip. Brian was sure that couldn’t be good for the baby. He knew you shouldn’t carry anything when you were pregnant, but here Roger was carrying their barely two-year-old, who refused to go to anyone else. Normally Brian would tell Roger that it was bad for him and he needed to give her to someone else. But he didn’t think it was in his place to stay.

After the tea had been made, both families made their way back into the living room. Brian sat back in the arm chair he was in before, except this time with Tommy on his lap. Roger sat between Freddie and John on the sofa, placing the child on his hip in Freddie’s lap who gratefully took the child, swamping her in hugs and tickles.

“How have you been?” John asked Roger, Brian only just hearing it over he shrieking laughter from his daughter.

Roger just shrugged. “I’ve been better,” he mumbled.

“How about the kids?”

“They’ve been okay. Tommy really misses Brian, but I don’t really know about Lilly. She doesn’t really talk about him much. I think he really upset her.”

John just nodded. Roger then had a hand on his stomach, one that belonged to Freddie.

“And how has this little darling been?” Freddie asked, aiming it at the belly causing Roger to laugh.

“He’s been fine. He just so restless all the time. I never have a moment of peace,” he chuckled.

The room then descended into uncomfortable silence. Brian watched as the others on the sofa were caressing Roger’s belly, and felt quite jealous. That was his child in there, he should be doing that. But only when his brain supplied him with the reason why he couldn’t just go over and do so, guilt quickly consumed him, and he shifted slightly in his seat, glad that Tommy had calmed down and was half asleep on his chest.

John cleared his throat, interrupting the silence and causing all eyes to flick to him.

“I suggest you two speak. There’s no use there being a get together when you two aren’t even a couple,” John stayed bluntly.

Brian and Roger only gave a slight nod.

Freddie picked up Lilly from his lap and carried her upstairs, followed by John who took the half asleep Tommy out of Brian’s lap, and carried him up. 

Roger and Brian were left in uncomfortable silence, not knowing what to really say.

“I’ve missed you,” Brian finally says. Roger looked at him, his face blank.

“Have you though?” Roger asked, and Brian could feel the guilt claw at his throat.

“I am so sorry Rog. I didn’t mean for any of this to happen.”

Roger sat up straighter at that, lifting a brow.

“Really Brian? Are you really going to say you didn’t mean to?”

Brian could see he hurt momentarily flash across Roger’s face. “So you didn’t mean to ignore me? You didn’t mean to ignore your kids?,” Roger questioned, his voice gaining volume as his anger started to rise.

“I told you I couldn’t do this by myself. That I needed you. But you were so busy with everything else that you forgot you had a family!”

Brian gulped lowering his head, knowing he was completely in the wrong.

“You treated me like I wasn’t there,” Roger half-whispered, his voice cracking as tears started to build up. Brian’s shot up at this, and it was now very evident on Roger’s face that he was hurting.

“I never meant to,” Brian said quietly.

Roger scoffed. “You never mean to do anything Brian. How can I raise two kids, nearly three by myself? And it’s been like this for a while, even before we split. You were always so busy with doing stuff for the band or whatever that you never had time for us. You never had time for me!”

Brian felt the tears slip down his face as Roger relayed the past events, but from a completely different angle than Brian had. He didn’t realise just how horrible he had been.

“And ignoring me wasn’t even the worst. Ignoring your kids is. I’m pretty sure the reason why Lilly won’t speak to you is because she thinks you’ll make her cry, just like you had before.”

Roger stopped, looking at Brian momentarily before continuing his small speech.

“I’m not even sure if you love me anymore.”

Brian gasped at that, standing up and making his way next to Roger, hesitantly sitting down.

“Roger I love you so much. And I always have.”

“So why are you so willing to shove our ten years of marriage down the drain?”

Roger’s eyes glistened with tears as they ran down his face. Brian so desperately wanted to just pull the blonde into a hug. But he didn’t.

“What are we doing Brian? Do you want to even be with me anymore?” Roger sniffed.

“Of course I do,” Brian said, no hesitation to his statement.

“Then prove it. Prove to me that you actually want to be a part of this family, or I’ll be ready with the divorce papers. I can’t handle another rejection.”

“I will Rog. I promise I will make it up to you. To all of you.”

Roger gave a smile and wiped his eyes.

“I’ll try and get Lilly to hug you before we leave,” he said as he stood up.

“Thank you,” Brian replied, his voice cracking as the guilt still grasped at his throat.

Roger made his way upstairs, and after a few moments, came back down with their kids and John and Freddie in tow.

“I think I’m going to go now,” Roger announced. “I think I need to put these two to bed,” gesturing to Lilly who was half asleep on John’s hip, and Tommy who was dosing in Freddie’s arms.

“Okay Rog. Make sure to come round again. We’d love to see you and the kids more often,” John said, smiling at Roger who returned one as well.

“Can you help me put them in the car?” Roger asked Brian, who was quite surprised by the question.

“Yeah sure thing.”

Roger took Lilly from John whilst Brian took Tommy from Freddie.

They said their goodbyes to the couple, and thanked them for their hospitality, before heading out to the car, strapping the kids into their car seats.

“Right I’ll see you later,” Brian said, kissing Tommy on the head and receiving a hug from the young boy.

“Bye daddy,” Tommy mumbled sleepily.

Brian pulled back with a smile before making his way around the car to the other side. He leant in and placed a kiss on Lilly’s head. She made sleepy grabby hands at him and he leant even further forward so she could wrap her small arms around him in a hug.

“I love you Daddy,” she whispered, causing Brian’s heart to melt.

“I love you too Lilly,” he whispered back before pulled away.

He turned to Roger, who had been watching him with a hint of a smile.

“Hopefully I’ll see you soon,” Brian said.

“Well it depends on you. You have to make the effort Bri.”

“I will don’t worry,” Brian replied. Roger gave him a soft smile before climbing into the car.

Brian gave a smile in return and stood back, watching as the car pulled off.

He sighed. He really didn’t know how he was going to prove things to Roger. He had really screwed up this time. 


	2. Part 2

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Roger recounts the events of him and Brian splitting up, and Brian tries hard to get Roger back.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Finally another chapter! This one is a bit longer than the last chapter, and it probably gives a better understanding to what's actually happening.   
> Also, my tumblr is in the end notes. 
> 
> I hope you like this chapter :)

Brian was trying. He really was, and Roger could see that. But he still didn’t know if he was ready to get back together with him. Since their initial meeting at John and Freddie’s house, Roger had seen more of Brian than he had in the 10 years they had been together. Even when they were living in the same house, he hardly ever saw Brian. And when he was there… well sometimes Roger preferred it when he wasn’t, because then he would never have to look at the seemingly bored look that Brian had on whenever Roger tried to talk to him. Roger had felt like a single parent, watching as his husband shrugged his children off as if they weren’t anything. As if they weren’t his children. Now, Roger knew that Brian loved the kids. He had seen the look of pure love in his eyes the days they were born, and it was confirmed when the look was on his face when he saw his kids for the first time in a while when they were at Freddie and John’s house. But it still didn’t justify how he acted towards them, seemingly not interested in what they had been doing that day.

And that one night when Lilly had asked Brian for a bedtime story… well Roger’s heart broke right then. He had to put a sobbing Lilly to bed that night when a stressed out Brian told her no, and that he didn’t have enough time. He didn’t have enough time for her. He didn’t have enough time for Tommy. And he most certainly didn’t have enough time for Roger. That was the night Roger had made his mind up.

Whilst Brian stayed in their music room, Roger had called Freddie, then packed a suitcase for Brian, putting enough clothes in there to last him a while, as well as a few toiletries, then lastly a picture. It was of Roger and Brian together, early on in the seventies, before they had the kids. Brian had his arms around Roger’s waist, pulling him in close so that they were looking at each other face to face. Anyone could see the love they had for each other in that picture, from the way Roger’s eyes sparkled, and Brian’s huge grin.

Roger had turned the picture over, grabbing a pen and scribbling a note onto the back. He placed it on top of everything in the suitcase, so it would be the first thing Brian would see when he opened it. He zipped it up and sighed before carrying it downstairs. The kids were in bed, so he sat by himself on the sofa, the suitcase next to him, and his unborn child his only company.

He knew what he was doing. He knew that kicking Brian out meant that he wouldn’t have much support through the rest of the pregnancy. Not like he had any anyway. But it just confirmed that he had to do this himself. He could do it. This wasn’t his first child. He had done this two times before and coped perfectly well, even though he had Brian by his side for most of it those times. Because that was when Brian had time for them, and the band wasn’t his priority.

So Roger was there waiting, suitcase beside him when Brian had come up into the living room. Brian gave a questioning look as he saw the suitcase beside his husband.

“Where are you going?” Brian had asked.

“I’m not going anywhere. You are.”

“What?” Brian questioned, confusion and shock becoming evident on his face.

“Brian,” Roger said as he stood up so that he was face to face with the older man. “I’m done Brian. I can’t have you upsetting our children any more. I think it’s in our best interest if you leave for a while.”

“Roger where has this come from? I’m not leaving,” Brian replied, a look of uncertainty on his face.

Roger scoffed. “Where has this come from? Brian you don’t even care about us anymore. If I asked you how many weeks along I was, could you answer?”

Brian’s mouth opened and closed as he looked for an answer, but came up empty.

“What about if I asked you about the school play Tommy was in last week?”  
Again, Brian just replied with a blank stare, his mind fumbling for an answering.

“That’s because you weren’t there Brian. I was. I’m there for our children, and I’m still in the band. You can do both Brian. But I cant have you choosing the band over us. So yes. You are going to leave, and I don’t want to see you until you’ve set your priorities in order. I’ve already called Freddie, and he says you can go and stay with him and John,” Roger stated, handing the suitcase to Brian, who looked bewildered at Roger’s words.

“Rog I-”  
”Save it Brian.”

And with that, Roger had swiftly opened the front door, and watched as his husband left.

 

But since Roger had seen Brian at Freddie and John’s, the older man had made a great effort to show Roger how much he still loved him, as well as their children.

The very next day, Brian had called Roger, requesting to take the children out to the park for the day. Roger hesitantly agreed, as long as himself and their other two band mates could come along. Roger had been wary, just because he didn’t know if Brian was going to live up to his promise or not.

Freddie, John and Brian had met up at Roger’s house first, where they greeted Roger and the kids. They decided that Brian, John and Tommy would go in one car, and then Freddie, Roger and Lilly would go in the other.

The ride with Freddie was silent, Roger driving with Lilly babbling to herself in the back.

Freddie finally interrupted the quiet, turning his body to face Roger.

“How far along are you now Rog?”  
”Just coming up 30 weeks,” Roger replied with a smile, followed by a slight grimace when the baby decided that kicking him in the kidneys would be fun. He really wished this baby would calm down. It had been kicking more often now that he had gotten bigger, and he was already fed up. His other two children hadn’t been this bad, so he kind of dreaded how energetic this one was going to be.

“Not long now then,” Freddie grinned.

“Yeah,” Roger said, his smile dropping slightly. The bigger he got, the less time Brian had before the baby was born. Roger really didn’t want his baby to be born into a family where his parents weren’t even living together. And he didn’t know how he would cope with two toddlers and a newborn baby on his own.

Freddie’s smile dimmed as well. “I’m sure it will be okay darling.”

 --------------------

 

The day at the park was actually a lot better than Roger thought it would’ve been. He was sat on the bench next to John, fondly watching as Brian and Freddie were playing with the kids. Roger had lost his energy just getting from the car, and Freddie had so kindly offered to take his place of running after the kids. Brian was also proving himself. He was currently pushing Lilly on the swing, who was squealing in laughter.

“Higher daddy. Higher!” she shouted, laughing even more when Brian pushed her even higher. It reminded Roger of when they first had Tommy. When he was Lilly’s age, Roger had been heavily pregnant then as well, and watched from the sidelines as Brian would play silly games like hide and seek around the park, giggling when Brian pretended to not see Tommy underneath the slide.

Roger smiled at the memory. John must’ve seen the look on his face, for he turned to face Roger, reflecting a grin of his own.

“You seem happier.”  
”I am,” Roger hummed, before the reality of his situation smacked him straight in the gut and he felt his face drop slightly. “I just don’t know if it will last.”

John sighed before taking Roger’s hands in his own. “I think making him move out was a real kick in the arse. I mean, he’s sulked around my house for weeks on end. I don’t think he realised what he was doing, and it took you actually having to shove it in his face for him to acknowledge what he’d done. But he deserved it. He had his head up his own arse for too long.”

Roger chuckled at that, tears sightly gathering in his eyes. “I just hope I don’t have to do it again.”

“And I just hope he gets himself sorted before the baby comes,” John said. He noticed as Roger winced slightly at the baby kicking him.

“Is he annoying you?”

“Like you wouldn’t believe,” Roger huffed. “This baby is definitely the most energetic.He doesn’t stop.”

It was only now that John realised how bad Roger actually looked. He looked like he hadn’t slept in a week. Now John wasn’t a doctor, but he was sure that no sleep plus stress was not healthy, and definitely not healthy for the baby.

“Rog are you okay?”

“Yeah I’m fine,” came the short reply.

“No, truthfully Roger. Are you okay?”

Roger scrubbed a hand over his face before letting out a long breath.

“Truthfully? No. No I’m not okay Deacy. I’m not handling all this okay by myself.”

John instantly leant forward, pulling Roger into a hug. Roger grasped onto the other man, breaking into sobs as he buried his face into his shoulder.   
”I can’t do this Deacy,” Roger whispered.

“Yes you can Roger. You are the strongest man I know.”  
Roger leant back so he was looking at John and gave a small smile, wiping his tears away with the back of his hand.

“Y’know me and Fred don’t mind lending a hand. Do you want us to come over for the night? It’ll let you relax while we take care of the kids. Then you’ll have company when they go to bed. It’s not healthy to be alone all the time.”

Roger nodded in response, sniffling slightly.

“Thank you Deacy.”

 --------------------

 

Brian had began calling everyday, just to check up on Roger and the kids. It did make Roger’s heart flutter at the sound of his husband sounding genuinely interested in what he was telling him.

Freddie and John kept coming over a lot more, ensuring that the strain of looking after his kids all the time was lifted from his shoulders so that he could rest.

On one call from Brian, the older man had asked when Roger’s next scan was. It was only in two days. His last scan was meant to be at 20 weeks, but because this was his third child, and there was some difficulties with the last birth, they wanted him to be seen again. Once Roger had told him, Brian sheepishly asked if he could come along. Roger saw no reason why not. This was still his baby after all, and Roger didn’t want to deprive Brian of being a father to his own child.

Brian had picked Roger up from his house, Freddie and John looking after Tommy and Lilly. They sat together in the waiting room silently. To be quite honest, both men were nervous. They hoped their baby was okay, and that there would be no complications. Once they were called through, Roger lay back on the bed, Brian standing beside him. Once the gel had been put on, and the probe was placed on his stomach, Roger instinctively grabbed Brian’s hand. They watched as they saw the baby on the screen. The doctor examined it before turning to them with a smile.

“It seems that your baby is perfectly healthy,” the doctor said with a grin.

The parents sighed in relief. It was only then did Roger realise his hand was entwined with Brian’s. He didn’t pull away though. He may be still upset with Brian, but he really needed the comfort. In that moment, Roger thought to himself that if Brian carried on this way, he may just take him back.

 --------------------

 

A week later, after several more calls, Brian asked if he could take Roger out for dinner. The younger man agreed, grinning from ear to ear. Maybe Brian was actually changing.

Brian picked him up around seven, and they spent the night talking and laughing just like they used to.

It wasn’t until half way through the meal that Roger realised something was wrong. He was listening to Brian talk when he felt a pain across his stomach. He ignored it. It was too early for the baby, meaning it was probably jut fake contractions. So he sat through them, not alerting Brian to the pain that was getting steadily more painful. By the time they had finished, Roger was chocking back whimpers as the pain got more intense, and as soon as he stood up to leave, he groaned as another pain shot through him and his trousers became wet. He looked down with wide eyes. He really thought they were fake. He really shouldn’t have been that stupid. And he really should’ve told Brian. The older man was looking at him with panic.

“Bri,” Roger said, making eye contact with his husband.

 

 “I think the baby’s coming.” 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I hope you enjoyed this chapter :)  
> Also, I am on tumblr @spread-your-wings002 so drop by my askbox and let me know what you think!! If you have any HC's as well, I'd love to hear about them! I’d also be very happy to discuss or answer any questions about this story :)
> 
> Comments mean the world x
> 
> Thank you so much for reading my lovelies :)


	3. Part 3

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm sorry. This went a lot sadder than it was meant to be.

Brian knew he’d screwed up. He had known it, but chose not to acknowledge it for so long that he wasn’t ready when it came back to bite him in the arse. He was not completely surprised when Roger kicked him out. He was not completely surprised when Roger told him he had to actually try for him to be a part of the family. And he was not completely surprised that the baby was coming early, as Roger had been under a lot of stress.

  
He had rushed Roger to the hospital, holding his hand as the contractions became more intense with each minute. And when they’d gotten to the hospital, Roger was just about ready to push.

“I’ll just wait outside,” he had said, not knowing whether Roger would want him around.

“Brian May you get back here right now. I can’t do this by myself,” Roger had screamed, making Brian immediately obey him.

  
The doctor was in a few minutes later, and everything happened in a blur. Roger was pushing and screaming, holding Brian’s hand in a death grip. This wasn’t like the last two times. The labours last time had taken hours and hours, and usually Roger wasn’t as in as much pain as he was this time. Brian had to hold back tears as he watched the blonde struggle bringing their baby into the world.

And then it was here.  
  
”It’s a boy!” the doctor exclaimed, and Brian burst into happy tears, momentarily forgetting about the hardships between him and Roger. That was until Roger’s hand started to loosen on his own, and Brian looked over to see the blonde’s face drained of colour.

“Roger?”

“I don’t feel too good Bri,” Roger whispered.

The doctor was immediately there and found the problem. There was blood. And lots of it. He was haemorrhaging.

Roger just about looked ready to pass out, and Brian held his hand tighter.

“You'll be okay Rog. It’ll be okay,” he said, fear dripping in his voice as the doctors started to swarm in, speaking about ‘surgery’ and ‘not enough time’.

“I forgive you,” Roger whispered before his eyes rolled back, and his arm became limp in Brian’s grip.

Brian desperately tried to hang on but a nurse was ushering him away from his husband as he was hurriedly moved to surgery.

  
The first thing Brian did was call Freddie.

“Hello?”

  
”Freddie…”

”Brian? Is everything okay?” Freddie asked through the phone, concern very evident in his voice.

“It’s Roger,” Brian sobbed. “We’re at the hospital.”

“We’re on our way Brian, but we’ll have to bring the kids with us.”

Brian sighed, but agreed with Freddie and hung up, urgently waiting for them to come.

 

 

\-------------------------------------

“Daddy!”

 

Brian looked up from where he had his head in his hands to see Tommy running at him from out of the corridor. Brian lifted him into hug, and felt the young boy giggle in his arms, before placing a kiss on his forehead. Freddie and John walked in shortly after, a tired Lilly perched on John’s hip. She made grabby hands as soon as she saw Brian, and the guitarist stood up to pull her into his own arms. She wrapped her chubby hands around him, and he felt tears start to build at the corners of his eyes. He placed her on the floor where she wobbled over to Tommy who had found the kid toys in the waiting room.

Whilst the kids were pre occupied, John and Freddie sat beside Brian.

“What happened Brian? Is the baby okay?”

  
Brian looked up, tears starting to slip out of his eyes.

“The baby is okay I think. He’s been born.”

  
Freddie smiled at that, knowing that Brian and Roger’s new child was okay was a lot better than what  he thought was going to happen, however his smile dropped as soon as Brian bent over, sobs racking his body.

“Brian?”

“Roger started bleeding… a-and he passed out as they were taking him to surgery.”

  
John hugged Brian close, stroking a hand up and down his back. “I’m sure he’ll be fine Bri. He’s strong.”

  
Brian just nodded, sniffling more as tears fell.

 

There was a knock on the door and a doctor came in. Brian didn’t recognise her; she wasn’t Roger’s doctor.

“Your baby is ready for you to visit now. He’s in intensive care at the moment as he is premature, but he looks as though he will be okay when he gets bigger. Would you like me to take you to see him?”  
  
Brian didn’t respond straight away, his eyes looking into the distance until he looked back at her with a nod. She smiled sympathetically before he followed her out of the room, leaving his other children with Freddie and John.

 

\----------------------------------------

His hand went into the small incubator, taking the smaller hand in his own. The baby was so beautiful. He already had curly blonde wisps of hair on top of his head, and blue eyes that would lazily open to blink at him now and then. Brian hadn’t noticed he was crying until a nurse came over with a box of tissues, placing a hand on his shoulder.

Brian was hoping that Roger would pull through, he didn’t know what he would do if he didn’t.

His thumb brushed back and forth over the tiny hand, a smile making his lips curl up at the sight of his baby curling a hand around his fingers.

 

\-----------------------------------------

Brian was back in the waiting room, Tommy and Lilly asleep on Freddie and John’s laps, when Roger’s doctor had come. He stood up, chest tightening with panic at the sight of the doctor’s grim face.

 

“I’m sorry, we did all we could.”

 

Brian felt the floor come up at him as he fell to his knee, his hands coming to his face as he took in what the doctor said.

“No,” he whispered, causing Freddie to put Tommy on the chair and kneel next to him.

“No,” he repeated, a lot louder this time. He started to act out, thrashing against Freddie who was holding him down as he repeated the word over and over until he had no fight left in him. He fell against his best friend and clung to his shirt as he cried. This wasn’t true. This wasn’t fair.

His husband, the love of his life, the father to his children, was dead. Gone.

Brian thought it was some sick sort of karma; making Roger mostly live as if he was a single parent for so long that now, roles were reversed, and Brian was now the single parent. Permanently. There was no going back. There was no more breaking up or getting back together. There was nothing left.

‘ _ _I forgive you__ ,’ was the last thing Brian would ever hear Roger say. And he kept his last words as a promise. Roger had forgiven him, so he had to show that he was forgiven for a reason. He had to carry on. He couldn’t let Roger down again by giving his life to someone else.

He wouldn’t let Roger be forgotten either. He would tell his children, when they were older, about such a great dad they had. About how they met, how they made music and travelled the world, how their dad loved all of them to no end, how they had so much love for each other, even in the end. Because Brian without a doubt always loved Roger, and he knew that deep down, Roger loved him too, underneath how angry he had previously been.

 

He still had his children. He still had his best friends. And after everything, he still had the knowledge that Roger loved him.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I know that's probably not what you were expecting , sorry. 
> 
> Also, I am on tumblr @spread-your-wings002 so drop by my askbox and let me know what you think!! If you have any HC's as well, I'd love to hear about them! I’d also be very happy to discuss or answer any questions about this story :)
> 
> Comments mean the world x
> 
> Thank you so much for reading :)

**Author's Note:**

> Please let me know what you think! I really do love reading you're comments and kudos mean the world x  
> Also, I am on tumblr @spread-your-wings002 so drop by my inbox and let me know what you think!!  
> Thank you so much for reading my lovelies :)  
> Next chapter will be up soon <3


End file.
